


A Guide to Panic Attacks by Kozume Kenma

by look-at-me-im-special (JunkDrawerAdventures)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Gen, I'm promise they're okay tho, Panic Attacks, probably, would this count as angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7924318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JunkDrawerAdventures/pseuds/look-at-me-im-special
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma grabbed Kuroo by his wrist and pulled him down onto his bed. “Your brain is in fight or flight mode,” Kenma started. “It thinks it's in danger, but it's not. You're not in danger, Kuroo.”<br/>He stopped for a moment, not sure how to continue. The sound of shallow breathing filled the room mixed with the ticking of the clock.<br/>“Your brain can not panic for more than twenty minutes,” Kenma said as he tried to maintain eye contact to keep his friend in the present. “It will run out of adrenaline and you will feel better, okay?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Guide to Panic Attacks by Kozume Kenma

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a bunch of fics where Kuroo helps Kenma with anxiety or panic attacks and I always love those. I thought it would be interesting, though, to write something where it's the other way around. And then this happened.
> 
> It's loosely based off of 'The Perfect Panic Attack' by Patrick Roche, which is one of my favourite slam poems. You don't have to watch it before reading, but I'd highly recommend it (although there are some mentions of self harm and obviously panic attacks, so be careful). You can find the poem here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHVVv9yrCQo

23:49 Kuroo

Can you open the door?

 

Kenma stared at his phone's screen in confusion. It wasn't like he had been sleeping -he had spent his last few hours of the day playing an old Pokémon game on his DS- he just wasn't used to getting text messages this late at night. Not even from Kuroo.

 

23: 49 Kuroo

I'm in front of your house.

 

Kenma slipped out of his bed, his handheld clutched to his chest and tiptoed toward the window. Not that it was necessary, his parents were out of town for the weekend. He looked outside. It was a moonless night, but Kenma recognised the silhouette of his friend outside on the curb. To anyone else he probably looked dangerous, with his tall physique and hair darker than the sky, but then again, who would be looking out their window in the middle of the night?

 

23:50 Kenma

You know where the key is.

 

Kenma could see Kuroo's phone light up from inside his room as he received the text. This was all very strange. Kenma had deemed it appropriate to show his friend the secret hiding place for his spare key a long time ago. Kuroo wasn't shy about using it either, often letting himself in when he came over to play games or do homework together. Why hadn't he this time?  
Kuroo seemed to realize this now as well and he made his way to the front door and out of Kenma's sight. The door open slowly and Kenma was surprised to hear the immediate footsteps coming up the stairs. Kuroo apparently hadn't bothered to take of his shoes. Not that Kenma minded at all, but Kuroo had always been so polite when visiting.

What was going on?

Kenma walked over to his bedroom door and opened it to see Kuroo standing in the middle of the hallway. He looked... Frazzled.

“What's wrong?” Kenma asked the guy who wasn't acting like his best friend at all.

Kuroo took a shallow breath. “It's the exam,” he said and he walked passed Kenma into his room.

Kenma wasn't sure what to make of this. “You've been studying for months,”

Kuroo paced up and down from the bed to his dresser and back. It was too dark too see his face, but Kenma could feel the tension in the room like a magnetic field.

“But what if I don't get in?” Bed. Dresser. Bed. Dresser.

“Every college would be happy to have you,”

“It's in two days, Kenma!,” Kuroo said and he gasped for air in between words. “Two days!”

It was a familiar sight and he could almost feel his friend's emotions for him. How the air felt different in your lungs. Like it wasn't enough. And how your tongue would feel too big for your mouth and your brain felt like it was itching, but you couldn't scratch it. “Kuroo, look at me,” Kenma said and he didn't continue speaking before his friend looked back at him. “You're having a panic attack.”

“What?”

Kenma walked up to him, stopping in front of his bed to stop Kuroo from pacing up and down. “Is it okay to touch you?”

Kuroo looked even more confused now. That made sense. This wasn't the type of question you'd normally ask your friend who you regularly shared beds with since you were kids. However, Kenma knew that whenever he was like this he preferred to be asked such things.

Kenma grabbed Kuroo by his wrist and pulled him down onto his bed. “Your brain is in fight or flight mode,” he started. “It thinks it's in danger, but it's not. You're not in danger, Kuroo."He stopped for a moment, not sure how to continue. The sound of shallow breathing filled the room mixed with the ticking of the clock. “Your brain can not panic for more than twenty minutes,” Kenma said as he tried to maintain eye contact to keep his friend in the present. “It will run out of adrenaline and you will feel better, okay?”

His mother had told him this many years ago when his own panic attacks started picking up and Kenma figured Kuroo would appreciate this scientific approach.

“Twenty minutes?” Kuroo asked, his eyes big and wild like a deer in headlights, but there was no car.

“Or less,” Kenma said. “You can shorten it by taking deep breaths.”

Deep breaths. That was another one of his mothers tips. And Kuroo had also told him this many times when he was feeling stressed. It was strange to be on the other side. Kuroo gasped for air and Kenma couldn't help but relate to forgetting how to breathe sometimes. He placed his hand on Kuroo's stomach and told him to breathe all the way down. It wasn't enough.

Kuroo pushed himself off the bed. Kenma reached for his hand, but only got a hold of the hem of his shirt.

“I think I'm dying,” Kuroo said and he reached both his hands up to his head as if he was trying to rip something out. Kenma thought of times he felt like smashing his head into a wall, but quickly suppressed those thoughts.

“You're not dying, I promise,” Kenma says and he clung onto Kuroo's shirt even tighter. He then heard a sound he had never heard before. Kuroo sobbed. He took a messy breath and then started full on crying.

Kenma pulled his friend down again wrapped his arms around his body. “It's okay,” he said. This was a good thing. Crying was usually the final stage of a panic attack. At least for him. “Just let it all out.”

Kuroo dug his face into Kenma's shoulder and Kenma stroked his hair. Kenma slowed down his own breath and was happy to notice than Kuroo followed his lead.

The sobbing continued, Kenma didn't know for how long, but it became softer and softer. Kuroo pulled back his arms from Kenma's hug after a while and covered his face with the sleeves of his hoody. It was a bit silly. It wasn't like Kenma hadn't already seen the red splotches on his face or the fact that his nose was running. He'd seen these things on himself many times as well.

“You're an idiot,” Kenma said as he wrapped his arms around Kuroo again and pulled him down until they were laying down next to each other. “Don't be embarrassed, okay?”

Kuroo nodded put kept his face covered.

“I'm serious, Kuroo,” Kenma grabbed his wrist and carefully pried his hand away from his face so he could make eye contact. Kuroo had always made sure that Kenma would look him in the eye whenever he was telling him something important. Kenma deemed it appropriate to do the same. “You've helped me a million times so now I'm helping you, okay?”

“You're really good at this,” Kuroo mumbled and Kenma shook his head.

“It's just like I said. Your body can only panic for a maximum of about twenty minutes.”

“Exactly,” Kuroo smiled. His eyes were still puffy and his cheecks red, but he looked better than when he came in. “Thank you for telling me.”

Kenma quickly hugged Kuroo to hide the embarrassing smile that was creeping up on his face.

“You're an idiot,” Kuroo laughed. Kenma squeezed him closer. It was so good to hear him laugh.

They fell asleep like this, all wrapped up and intertwined as the room slowly filled with soft breaths and quiet again. And it was good for now and they would be good as long as they had eachother.

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably a bit out of character for Kuroo, but that was kinda the point anyway. I just figured i'd give him something to panic about (cause I'm a good person). I don't even know if Japan has something like college entrance exams. They do now, tho
> 
> I also haven't really written anything in ages so some feedback would be lovely and comments are definitely appreciated.
> 
> Have a good day :)


End file.
